Thursday, October 2, 2014

The Authority of the New York Times

I don't know what I'd do without the New York Times to tell me what I should worry about. They've assured me that mass immigration is really good for the country and good for me, well worth the occasional ebola plague, which is no big deal. They've also made me stop worrying about foreign wars, now that the Democrats are firmly in charge and will only fight good foreign wars. I've also learned that while Bush used to create terrorists by bombing countries, Obama somehow reduces terrorism with what looks like the same kind of bombing exactly. The differences are very subtle!

And I've also learned from them that my fears about the US border are stupid and ignorant, racist, actually, and that sensible, patriotic people worry about other borders — Ukrainian, Syrian, Israeli, places like that, which should matter far more to Americans than boring places like New Mexico or Arizona.

And the Times has been keeping Americans right-thinking for years.


  1. Didn't the Times deny that it was even possible for an asteroid to hit the Earth and cause the KT extinction event? Where are the Troodons' descendents?