Monday, March 24, 2014

Alexander McNabb on Guns and Gun Control

Most of us on the correct side of the gun issue tend to repeat the same arguments over and over. They're good arguments, but sometimes it pays to back off and look at the situation from a different perspective, both to refresh our thinking a little bit and maybe also to gain at little deeper insight. Alexander McNabb has that different perspective. From Alternative Right.


by Alexander McNabb

I have been dragged through this debate so many times that the talking points have been ingrained into my neural pathways like the well worn action of Grandpa’s old Remington shotgun. For the record, I am pro-gun, but for infinitely simpler reasons than the typical pundit: I just like guns. To put this in liberalspeak, if two consenting gay adults wanna use a loaded AR-15 as a sex toy, that’s their business, and you religious bigots had better keep your intolerant noses out of their bedroom. The only thing they’re hurting is their alimentary canals and possibly the muzzlebrake on that Colt. Of course, to be fair, both pro-gun and gun control advocates make some predictably stupid points in this discussion, so let’s lock and load the primary examples of bad premises and shoddy thinking:

1. Guns are about self defense/ hunting/ killing things/ massacring helpless schoolchildren 

No, they are not. A gun is just a device used to accelerate a projectile. (Depending on how much I had to drink the night I was making ammunition, that projectile may not even make it down the barrel.)There is no Platonic “gun essence” which establishes the sacred purpose of all firearms for killing school children and murdering Trayvon Martin. This is actually where the pro-gun crowd unwittingly shoots their own foot off by framing their argument on utilitarian premises which their opponents eagerly abuse. By agreeing that guns are about self defense and practicality, they enable detractors to simply observe that firearm ownership is correlated with worse safety outcomes, thereby running contrary to the stated purpose of increasing safety by providing a defensive option. If you are pro-gun, don’t even agree to this idea. Just say you like owning guns. Like many things in life there are negatives associated with said ownership, but these negatives do not outweigh the pleasure owning a firearm brings you. Should someone never drink alcohol or own a Corvette because of the statistics on DUI fatalities?

2. The Second Amendment says… 

Look, I honestly don’t give a damn about the second Amendment. It is true that the Second Amendment was written to ensure private gun ownership and the Federalist Papers back this concept up. It is true that anyone who cannot understand that citizen militias would be impossible without private gun ownership is being willfully stupid. It’s furthermore true that “well-regulated” does not mean what gun control supporters think it means. Regardless, repeating Franklin quotes like a broken record isn’t going to get you anywhere. Clearly vast legions of ignorant proles in this country do not know or care what the Constitution says unless Officer Friendly is about to uncover their weed stash. You can make better arguments than Appealing to Law.

3. We can regulate automobiles and require registration and insurance, why not guns? 

Because you don’t hop in your gun and drive it down public highways in plain view of patrol officers, you jackass. The thing is, guns are typically kept in a drawer somewhere or haphazardly thrown on a night stand where I can knock them on the floor while reaching for a glass of water, fatally injuring myself and ending any further commentary on this issue. Unlike a car, guns are not typically displayed in a manner where a government agent of any sort can inspect or view them. Furthermore, a Farm Use truck kept on private rural land is about as regulated as the rusty old shotgun hanging from its rifle rack. The biggest problem here is one we will return to over and over with the gun control zealots: Practicality. How do you enforce registration or insurance of guns? Does the gun owner collect all his guns, throw them in a sack, and drive them down to the DMV for inspection? If I fail to renew my gun registration, does the SWAT Team come crashing through the window? If I privately sale or trade a gun, how does anyone ever find out? I could simply report the gun stolen, stop paying the registration/insurance/Racist Hillbilly Gun Owner Fee and trade it to my young African American friend for some Skittles and Arizona Tea, and no one would find out until the youngster committed his first armed robbery. Most gun control proponents haven’t thought this far ahead though, and will just allude to some nebulous, vague idea of “regulation” without the slightest inkling of what it really entails.

Quibcag: The illustration is from Anime Girls With Guns.

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