Tuesday, February 4, 2014

On Staying Out Of Snake Pits

Last night I dreamed that Israel and the United States did role-reversal. Israel tore down its border fence, granted amnesty and citizenship to millions of Palestinians, Syrians, and Jordanians, and put a Redneck from West Virginia in charge of its National Bank.  It also sent billions of dollars in aid to the United States, and threatened Mexico with nuclear annihilation if it dared violate the US border. Then it invaded Cuba and hanged the Castro brothers. After that Israel held a Presidential election, and the two candidates argued over which one loved the United States more, and which would send them the most money. Then I woke up, and Matt Lauer was talking about Justin Bieber.

Speaking of the Middle East, Taki knows a lot about it, and lets us in on some secrets....

A Post-American Middle East

GSTAAD—From the top of the mountain that overlooks my Swiss chalet I can almost see Lake Geneva—on a clear day, that is, but thankfully what I cannot see are the armies of so-called diplomats, flunkeys, arms dealers, professional wallet-lifters, con men, thieves, and men who have been conceived by apes with a dose of the clap that go by the name of imams.

They are all here polluting the base of the Alps on the pretense of finding a peaceful solution to the Syrian problem, which is as likely as Portnoy renouncing masturbation. It is a joke to even call it a “peace process” when Iran—the region’s major power—has been excluded, but catamite so-called countries in the Gulf are here in force. An even bigger joke is the Saudi-Qatari demand of the right to withdraw the Syrian regime’s legitimacy in favor of the mercenaries that Wahhabi terrorism’s two petrodollar exporters are financing. But as I write, thousands of men are busy sitting on desks, translating texts, communicating with their governments back home, meeting nonstop with their own kind, and spewing out hateful rhetoric unheard of since the Nuremberg rallies. I write this on the second day of the so-called Geneva II. If it succeeds and peace comes to Syria, I will walk barefoot up Everest wearing only a jock strap and obviously die of frostbite in the process.

In all my years of following Middle Eastern politics, I have never seen a more ridiculous situation, where the weak and the cowardly but extremely rich—the Saudis and Qataris—have managed to upset the balance of power once the military genius of George W. Bush offered them the opportunity by doing away with one of the region’s few strongmen who had kept sectarian violence at a minimum. Everyone and their cousin who knew the difference between Iraq and Iran realized that once Saddam was gone the petrodollar pimps would flex their nonexistent military muscle. What was not obvious was that the pimps would use proxies such as al-Qaeda. The only man who stood in their way was Assad. Of course Iran was a problem, too, but that was quickly taken care of by our old friend Bibi Netanyahu, who for the hundredth time screamed wolf and got the Americans ready to nuke Tehran and the mullahs.
(Keep reading HERE.)

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