Saturday, December 28, 2013

Reed Downs Dowd

When Fred Reed is good, he is very, very good. Apparently Maureen Dowd recently participated in a silly feminist (I know, that's redundant) foofraw or hootenanny or coven or something called "Are Men Obsolete?", full of the usual trendy drivel. I would like to write something sarcastic about it, but I couldn't hope to compete with Fred Reed, who is at his finest and most witheringly sarcastic here. He has graced this blog
before with such pieces as "Fred Reed on Sex Roles" and "Another Modest Proposal from Fred Reed", and now he takes on the Dowdy one herself.
He writes:

Is Maureen Dowd Obsolete?


“Without men, civilization would last until the oil needed changing.”
—Federicius Aurelius Superomnem, 345 BC


Oh god, oh god. Death, taxes, migraine, sinus drainage, beriberi, and Maureen Dowd, the resentment columnist at The New York Times. On the Web I find her at some feminist bitch-in called “Are Men Obsolete?” She has this to say to men:

So now that women don’t need men to reproduce and refinance, the question is, will we keep you around? And the answer is, ‘You know we need you in the way we need ice cream — you’ll be more ornamental.’
I was delighted to think that I might be ornamental, no one having suggested the concept until now. I could have used it in high school. Maureen herself is beyond being ornamental, having that injection-molded look that follows the seventh face-lift, probably accomplished by the surgical use of a construction crane.
But I will say this to her:

Listen, Corn Flower. Let’s think over this business of obsolete men. Reflect. You live in New York, in which every building was designed and built by men. You perhaps use the subway—designed, built, and maintained by men. You travel in a car—invented, designed, and built by men—a vehicle that you don’t understand (what is a cam lobe?) and couldn’t maintain (have you ever changed a tire? Could you even findthe tires?), and you do this on roads designed, built, and maintained by men. You fly in aircraft designed, built, and maintained by men, which you do not understand. (What, Moon Pie, is a high-bypass turbofan?)

In short, as you run from convention to convention, peeing on hydrants, you depend utterly on men to keep you fed (via tractors designed by men, guided by a GPS invented, designed, and launched by men, on farms run by men), and comfy (air conditioning invented…but need I repeat myself?).

I do not want to be unjust. It is not in my nature. While men may be obsolete—unless you want to eat—I cannot say, Apple Cheeks, that feminists are obsolete. They are not. Obsolescence implies having passed through a period of usefulness.
(Get some popcorn and a beer and read the rest HERE.)

2 comments:

  1. ahh...anime pictures...
    Anyway man there is something wrong with your site, the first story you always have cant be commented on, there is not 'comment' button on it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If I understand you correctly, it's because "Reed Downs Dowd" is all one blog post, including my commentary followed by the beginning of Reed's piece. Use the comment button to comment on the whole thing or either part of it.

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